Randomness from Honey

Yes, sometimes I’m random. Collectively, methodically random.. Today’s post is to highlight this randomness by bringing together tidbits of my daily life.

Take this photo for example. Why did I take it? I have no idear. They do happen to be one of my favorite summer fruits, and I am so happy they are in full season right now. Those cherries? Yeah, in my tummy. Yum.

Last night we had a delicious dinner party at Hande’s house. So many Turkish dishes that I can’t remember the names of. And a cool rice flour pudding dessert. It was pretty darn awesome fun. Rather educational, too. I got a tutorial on how to become “Macho”, according to Turkish rules.

Six Steps to becoming a Turkish Macho Man

Step 1)  Step on the back end of your best dress shoes so that it resembles nasty house slippers. Your feet are now free to come and go as they please. No commitments, in or out, whenever the heck you want. Macho style.

Step 2) Throw away all your black socks. You don’t need them if you’re gonna be Macho. Buy the thickest, whitest cotton socks you can find. Wear them with your black dress shoes (from step #1) and black dress pants. Show off this macho branding by sitting in a way that reveals as much of your lower leg as possible. Nonchalantly pretend you don’t notice.

Step 3) Gather all your button down shirts. Tear out the first three buttons. They are unnecessary and hinder your path toward macho-dom. Always wear these shirts with the majority of your chest hair exposed. The longer and darker, the better. If you’re smooth chested, or have thin wimpy hair, give up right here. Hey, no one said it was easy.

Step 4) A macho man has to present himself as such- image is everything. Take your right shoulder. Now raise it up about 5 inches above your left. This is your permanent macho stance. Get used to it- live it, love it.

Step 5)  Buy an expensive suit jacket. Get yourself to a tailor, and ask to have the arms sewn shut from the inside. Now drape your suit jacket over your shoulders- just over them. Your arms don’t go in the sleeves, obviously. Think of it as a makeshift Superman cape. Yeah, you’re that awesome. Super Macho Man, that’s you. Wear all your suit jackets this way, all the time.

Step 6) Sit back in your chair, sternly pound your fist on the table and holler, “Woman, where’s my tea?!”

Voila, you’re a certified Macho Man! Thanks to the six very macho Turkish men for their insight.

By the way, Honey and Butter will celebrate it’s 100th post soon. I’m thinking a giveaway. What do you think?